im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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