so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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