you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
