there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
