i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize