Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
