1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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