a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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