You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize