Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
wow bdsm is so cute
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
