i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have tasted many bathrooms
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
