After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
