were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
