He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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