how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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