i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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