When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
