Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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