I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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