I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize