Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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