I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Drake has all the answers
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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