one two three fourrrrnication!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hippo gnu deer
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
