If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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