I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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