She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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