next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
