just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
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DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize