so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize