yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
