Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
