yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Randomize
