margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
