Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
