You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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