College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
