break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
