I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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