so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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