i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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