i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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