That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
