she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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