But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
