just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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