Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
