Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
