You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
