Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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