Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
