what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
