i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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