college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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