i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
