mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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