The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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