Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
