you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
