I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
